I have just finished Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck. It is one of those books that makes you pause and think about yourself a bit more honestly.
The concept is fairly simple. There are two main ways we think about ability: fixed mindset and growth mindset.
- Fixed mindset: You believe your intelligence, talent, and abilities are basically set in stone. You’re either good at something or you’re not.
- Growth mindset: You believe abilities can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence.
Straightforward enough, right? I always thought I had a growth mindset. I’m curious. I like learning new things. I’ll happily pick up a new skill just to see if I can. That must mean I’m growth-minded… doesn’t it?
Well. Not quite.
Dweck points out that having a growth mindset isn’t just about willingness to learn. It’s about how you respond when things go wrong.
And that’s where it got uncomfortable for me.
When I fail at something, especially something I really care about, I don’t always think, “What can I learn from this?” Sometimes I think, “I’m just not good enough.” It feels personal. Like the failure says something about me, not just about the outcome. Apparently, It is my “fixed mindset” creeping in.
It’s subtle. I believe it limits potential far more than we realise. Instead of analysing the experience and improving, you protect your ego. And in doing so, you stay stuck. It’s rather sobering when you see it clearly.
There’s quite a lot to chew on in this book, across different areas of life.
Parenting (which now feels terrifyingly complex)#
One of the most alarming sections is about children.
Research has found that kids who are praised for being “smart” (a fixed trait) often struggle more when things become difficult. Why? Because they start protecting that label. If they fail, they’re no longer “the smart one”. So they avoid risk, or even cheat.
On the other hand, children praised for effort, for trying hard, for sticking with something, are more likely to embrace challenges. Difficulty becomes part of the process, not a threat to identity.
The more I read about the psychology of parenting, the more impossible it seems. You can’t even say “you’re so clever” without potentially shaping someone’s entire relationship with failure. ARRR
Leadership and Work#
Fixed-mindset leaders believe talent is fixed. They want the “naturals”. The ready-made experts. The people who can already do the job perfectly. It creates rigid teams, a fear of failure, and very little room for development.
Growth-oriented leaders, on the other hand, build cultures of learning. Mistakes aren’t the end of the world — they’re data. Under growth-minded leadership (Microsoft is often cited as an example), companies tend to innovate more and adapt better.
This bit made me reflect on a recent interview I had. The interviewer kept asking about a propensity model I’d built before. It felt very much like: Have you already done exactly this thing? Rather than: Can you learn and figure this out?
It made me wonder how many organisations genuinely value growth, and how many just want proof that you’re already fully formed.
Relationships#
“We are incompatible” vs “We can work this out”.
In a fixed mindset, you see partners as either “perfect” or “flawed”. Conflict becomes proof that something is wrong with the person. Blame follows.
With a growth mindset, conflict becomes something to work through together. You assume both people can change, learn, and improve. It’s less about defending your character and more about developing together.
Sport#
Sport is where mindset becomes very obvious. This book also included quite a lot of example for athletes.
Dweck talks about how some of the greatest athletes weren’t necessarily labelled “naturals” at the start. What set them apart was how they responded to setbacks. They treated failure as part of the process, not a verdict on who they were.
It’s easy to admire resilience in sport. It’s harder to apply it to your own life when you’ve just had a disappointing result and would rather sulk than analyse what went wrong.
My Honest Thoughts#
The book does repeat itself at times. There are quite a few examples, and after a while you do feel as though you’ve got the point. But perhaps that’s deliberate — mindset is so embedded in us that it probably needs repetition to sink in.
What I appreciate most is this: a growth mindset isn’t a personality type. It’s not something you either “have” or “don’t have”. It’s situational.
You can have a growth mindset about learning new hobbies, but a fixed mindset about your career.
You can be growth-oriented at work, but fixed in relationships.
You can believe other people can change, but secretly think you can’t.
That nuance felt important.
I still think I’m generally open to growth. But now I notice the moments when failure makes me feel small instead of curious. And that awareness alone feels like the beginning of something better.
Perhaps the real growth mindset isn’t about constantly improving. Perhaps it’s about being honest enough to catch yourself when you’re not.